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A Wedding Gift.

This is a set of labels I wrote the text for. They were for the wedding of a friend. Small bottles of each liqueur were placed as gifts for guests on each table. The writing was fun. I have no shame in saying I used a thesaurus.

VITAL ELIXIR

Being for the enervation of the mind, spirit and morals. With only the finest hydrochloric acid and cadmium. 64% of survivors of Dr B’s experiments agreed – it’s cadmi-yummy!

FINEST NERVE TONIC

This fabulous fruit fantasia, composed by fructuosity and fermentation, is a lithe tipple equally at home in the gentleman’s study or the lady’s parlour. To be taken in moderation by women.

MONTEZUMA’S BILLY MILK

Aged for generations in golden casks, imbibing this libation with alchemical properties proven to combat phlegmatiousness, mendacity and disposition towards lubriciosity. Rich cacao and the finest spices entice the senses and soul.

BACHELOR’S JAM

A most delectable, piquant confection, noted for it’s ability to enrich and empower the blood. In Cuba, both bull and toreador drink by the gallon before duelling to the death.

HONEYMOON RELISH

Fire water of the ancient tribes of Castleford. Fabled to herald mystic visions, presented for your delectations from a recondite recipe passed down through generations.

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